Stop, Look and Admire but DO NOT COMPARE!

        We see, we like, we do. It is only natural to want to be like someone you admire but we must remember that adoring them is not an invitation to hurt ourselves. I find that comparing yourself to others makes you blind to the beauty you already posses. If we feel that someone has gorgeous hair, why can't we just stop there? As we all know, the mental thought process usually goes something like this, "Ugh I love her hair, it's not as damaged and thin as mine". The comparing always seems to follow but there is a better way, three better ways actually!

        One way is to notice the pattern your mind follows, "positive send and negative receive". We tend to send out the compliment and allow ourselves to receive the criticism. If you can train your mind to stop after complimenting someone, you will notice a dramatic change in the way you feel about yourself. Yes, you're admiring someone else's beauty or talent but when you eliminate the negative attack towards yourself you will notice a change. You begin to see less of a fault in what you thought was such a problem.

        Another way is to notice their success and let it motivate you. Think of them as your very own guide to success. If you want what they have, start to see their actions as inspiration. Learn from others but don't feel the need to compare your life to anyone else's. It is really hard to criticize and compare yourself to others when you are too busy bettering yourself. 

        My final suggestion would be to focus on yourself. You are the only one who can edit and delete major details in your life as you live it. When you are comparing yourself to others, you are allowing them to unintentional control your life. Stay true to who you are and aspire to be who you wish to be.

        I understand that social media makes it extremely hard to stay away from comparisons but if we allow ourselves to let go of the pressure, we will begin to feel powerful. The confidence is always inside you, it just needs to be activated! Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and I hope this was a reminder for you to always stay true to yourself while being kind to others!

OH DARLING, EVERYONE HAS THE RIGHT TO FEEL BEAUTIFUL!

          You have decided to take control of your life...great! By doing so, you have already completed the first step. Confidence defines who you are and how you choose to live your life. I believe even the most confident people have their insecurities but they don't allow those insecurities to dictate their lives. In fact, they will do everything they can to overcome them without anyone else realizing they had a problem. False confidence helps trick your opponents  or audience into believing you can achieve anything. This is good to have when you aren't sure about something at the moment. However, the best type of confidence is true confidence. I am here to tell you that it is possible to reach the highest point of confidence and own it! Here are three steps to help you start your journey.

Step 1: Become familiar with your greatest insecurities. Believe it or not, we all feel insecure about something and it is important to identify it.

Step 2: Create a plan to tarnish these confidence crushing insecurities. Once you know what makes you feel bad you can begin to change it. For example, if you believe you are a horrible public speaker, start speaking in public more often. The more you stay away from what makes you feel insecure, the more it can potentially overpower you. Start off by talking in small groups, whether it's with your group of friends or in class, you can begin to see how it feels. This will help you realize that the worst is really not bad at all.  The most important question I ask myself anytime I am in an uncomfortable/unfamiliar situation is "WHAT'S THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN?" and truth be told, it is never as bad as it seems.

Step 3: Once you confidently master what seemed impossible, continue to go down the list of insecurities and knock them off one by one. Say you have seven insecurities in mind and decide to jot down five of them to work on. Once you have knocked one off the list, do not say you have four left, add one of the two lingering insecurities hiding in your mind to the list. The most important thing is to be honest with yourself during this process. If you aren't truly honest with yourself, it may be more difficult to overcome your insecurities.

         These general steps should help you overcome whatever is it you're feeling insecure about. Push aside the insecurities and allow the confidence to shine through!